Mildly Thriving
Not crushing it? Neither are we. Mildly Thriving is our laid-back corner of the internet where two millennial women (hi, that’s us) try our best and mostly make fun of ourselves along the way. From daily wins and WTF moments to the weird and wonderful realities of adulthood, we’re sharing honest conversations about what it really means to be mildly thriving. Because honestly? Mildly thriving is thriving enough.
Mildly Thriving is produced by Mildly Thriving, LLC.
Mildly Thriving
Season Finale: Mildly Burned Out
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On the season finale of Mildly Thriving, Kimberly and Meredith tackle a question that's been keeping exhausted people awake for generations: why are we so bad at resting?
The ladies dive into society's obsession with productivity, the guilt that somehow appears the second you sit down, and the deeply ingrained belief that every moment of your life should be optimized or monetized. Why were we taught that gaps on a résumé are basically a criminal offense? Why is taking a break treated like a character flaw? And why are Americans expected to work until they collapse and then answer emails from the floor?
Do Kimberly and Meredith have the answers? Absolutely not.
But they do have plenty of opinions and a few complaints. So grab a snack, cancel a task, and join the ladies for one final whine before the season wraps up.
Insta: @MildlyThrivingPod
Original audio by Patrck Joseph (Thanks Patrick)
Insert legal disclaimer and jargon here... but like... don't steal our shit?
Welcome to Mildly Thriving. I'm Kimberly and I'm Merry.
SPEAKER_02We're two average millennials who aren't failing but aren't always thriving either. And we're out to prove that Mildly Thriving is thriving enough.
SPEAKER_01Please make sure you're subscribed and following us on the social medias.
SPEAKER_02And if you're feeling really nice, you could give us a five-star review wherever you listen to podcasts.
SPEAKER_01Now let's dive into this week's episode. Hi, Meredith. Hi, Kimberly. How are you doing today?
SPEAKER_03Good, how are you? I'm so good. Oh my god. Welcome to our podcast. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Actually, I got this new nail polish and I really like it. You want to know something hilarious? Did you just buy this nail polish too?
SPEAKER_03I just bought that nail polish too.
SPEAKER_02Oh wait, stay right there. Wait.
SPEAKER_03Not for you, gunner.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, you bought them all.
SPEAKER_03I haven't been doing I haven't been paying to get my nails done, but I've been cutting them short and like trying to keep them healthy. So I got I got like the top coat and the bottom coat and the active shine. Oh I got the active smooth because I have ridges in my nails, so I wanted to be girly, but not have my nails done, actually. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So I actually really I'm surprised at how well it held up.
SPEAKER_03Me too. I love that. Yeah, I was I went on Amazon and was just like trying to find some more natural ingredient type that wasn't I don't know, gonna for sure give me cancer. And I was like, oh these had good reviews and yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Look at us go. Okay. Well, at the top of the episode, this is going to be our last episode in our season one. Look at us. So yeah, we're gonna take we're gonna take a little break. We're gonna take a summer break.
SPEAKER_03We are gonna take a summer break, but I promise we'll be back bigger and better than ever. And I don't mean physically. I'm actually really trying to lose weight, but like we're gonna be good. Don't forget about us. Don't forget about us. They won't. I mean, we're unforgettable. We are unforgettable. Would you like to know what I'm gonna be doing this summer? So I can be smaller. Okay. It's gonna be on my bingo card. You ready to see? Yeah, I am ready to see.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Alright. Shit is getting weird. She has left her computer and her headphones and her mic. Okay, now she's coming back, making a weird face. Uh, it looks like she might be putting on pants of some sort. Uh, she's putting her headphones back in, so she's gonna hear all the shit that I've been I've been talking.
SPEAKER_03What? I can see your mouth moving. I just can't hear you.
SPEAKER_01It's really hard narrating so that our listeners I figured you were could be. Are you do you have assless chaps?
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_01Or I mean chaps.
SPEAKER_03No, you have those. I hope that's on your bingo card.
SPEAKER_01It's not. You got rollerblades. Oh yeah. I am actually really excited. I love it. I have rollerblades. You do not. I do. I have rollerblades. I have a helmet. I've got all the the pads and all the stuff. My pads are over there. I still have to get a helmet, but um. Well, now you can scratch something off my bingo card and put rollerblading.
SPEAKER_03Yes. Do you want to come rollerblading with me? Yeah. I almost said you want to come bingoing with me because it said bingo card. Um, I'm really excited about this. I was very nervous and a little hesitant, and I was like, am I gonna be that weirdo out at Ruston that's like rollerblading by myself and everybody's laughing at me? And then I was like, you know what? Fuck it. I don't care. I can't make myself work out unless it's fun. And I love rollerblading and I haven't done it in so long. I actually put them on when I got them and I rollerbladed around the apartment, and I'm actually not as out of touch as I thought I used I was. So I anyways, I was very excited to share that with you.
SPEAKER_01I am very excited for you. I'm excited to see that on your bingo card, which you still have not completed. Um but you really do a good way to bring it down. Thank you. You do need to share that with our listeners before our summer break.
SPEAKER_03Yes, ma'am.
SPEAKER_01Um, but yeah. Do you want to know what we're talking about today? No. Just kidding.
SPEAKER_03Okay, Kimberly. Yes, of course. I would love to know because I'm not mean. But I am, so I'm not gonna tell you.
SPEAKER_01Just kidding. Just kidding. Um, okay, no. So today we're gonna be talking about resting. Not resting, bitch face, just resting. And why we think our culture has such a weird relationship with people taking time off, why we don't have more breaks. Um like as soon as you get out of school, you essentially never have a like break again in your life, except for the occasional holiday, if your company that you work for recognizes them.
SPEAKER_03Did you pick this topic specifically to be the last episode before we go on a break? Yes, I did. That was genius. I think that was good. Look at this is why she gets paid the medium bucks, folks. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. So I I just thought because I was kind of feeling like, well, if we take a break, like, you know, what what does that mean? Like and it's like, no, like when did taking a break become this thing that we think so yeah, that we think so um poorly about or of people who take breaks. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So I love it. Yeah. As someone who worked in a career culture of if someone takes time off, someone has to cover for you. So nobody ever wanted to take time off because they felt guilty. Like, yeah, I appreciate this topic.
SPEAKER_01That's um that's rough. And that's there's a a portion where we will kind of talk about that, but that made me think of my mom used to work at the library, which was open seven days a week, and they had the majority of the people that worked there were actually part-time um staff members. And so what they did was they had a schedule that rotated so that everyone had a week off. Like every, I want to say it was every month, you got a week off. And it's like, why don't we do more of that? Then, like, if that's your schedule and you know that you're gonna have this week off, and obviously not everything always lines up perfectly, but you could use that week to go. I remember my mom was very militant about like, well, that's not during my week off. I can't I was like, okay, sometimes we have to like it's my wedding, mom, you know?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, there are exceptions. Uh that I my team's schedule is 24-7, but and it's rotating days and nights. But a reason that keeps them that keeps them there, like people actually like staying for the schedule because we have a rotating shift that they will end up with six days in a row off at the end of their five-week like day and night cycle. And it it just like happens to work out that way. And because they work 12s with a four on either end, if they want to, their fours are on either end of that uh schedule, and they could just take eight hours of PTO time and have eight days off in a row. And so everyone just tries to plan their vacations on their sixth day, or because I create the schedule a year in advance. If people know a time that they want off, I will try to coordinate their sixth day during that time so they can take less PTO time. And it is like I've offered to change the schedule for people because it's very unique and it really only works in this weird ass setting. Nobody wants to change it because everyone, like, yes, working switching from days to nights sucks for sure. But they all say that it's better for their personal lives to be able to have that time. And people still take they they earn plenty of PTO time, and they I have never once rejected someone's PTO request.
SPEAKER_01That's good.
SPEAKER_03I'm glad that you're not that person. But I think that comes from working in a culture where it felt horrible to take time off, or I never called out sick unless I was dying. I can count on one hand how many times in 10 years I called out sick. Yeah. Um, so I promised once I got to this level, like I wouldn't do that to people. We'll figure it out.
SPEAKER_01So, what happens then when people call out, or if your schedule comes out a year in advance, like that's pretty far out, and sometimes we don't know about certain things, then what? Do they request that off or do they coordinate a schedule shift with someone else? Like that's their problem.
SPEAKER_03Nope, they can request it off, and uh me or my team lead will find coverage. Um, since we are fully staffed, overtime shifts are few and far between, and they make time and a half on overtime. So there's there is motivation to come in and cover those shifts. And worst case scenario, the supervisor team has an on-call rotation and we all rotate who takes on-call. Worst case scenario, if not a single person can cover that shift, the on-call supervisor is responsible for coming in. And that has happened less than five times since I've been here.
SPEAKER_01Okay. That is definitely a time when I would understand someone's struggle to um call in because you know it's impacting other people.
SPEAKER_03I hated feeling like that. I still hate feeling like that. If I don't feel good, that's a lie. If there are days that I have a lot going on that I need to get done, I'm not, I'm not doing it for like my bosses. I'm doing it for me if I go in and I don't feel well, because it's like, oh, if I if I put it off another day, then it's still my problem later. But like I am not in a position of if I'm sick and I called out tomorrow, would I feel bad?
unknownNo.
SPEAKER_03Only for me, because then I there's another day of shit that I have to do. But that's it. I work in a culture now where if I was visibly sick at work, I would be sent home. Like nobody wants to get sick. And I do think COVID played a big role in that. Um, but yeah, like previously when I worked in 911 Dispatch, because I do not work in 911 Dispatch anymore, like you just we're just happy to have a butt in a seat, but there are some people that would have sent you home. But like it was hard to cover shifts.
SPEAKER_01And so Especially in a remote area, there wasn't a you didn't have a lot of there, yeah, there's not a lot of backup.
SPEAKER_03So it yes, it was nobody wanted to call out because you felt bad for the rest of your your teammates.
SPEAKER_01I just had this conversation with Josh, like he was coming down with hand, foot, and mouth disease. And it was like, and he was getting ready to travel for four days for work. And I'm like, you need to cancel your trip because no one wants to be around you. This is a very contagious disease.
SPEAKER_03You want to be sitting in a fucking airtight tube in the sky, just transmitting germs?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like nobody wants you around, and the sky is not going to fall if you don't go to these things. So he finally was like, Oh, yeah, you're right. And it's like, you're also going to delay your getting better. And so then I had to be like, you need to rest today.
SPEAKER_03I've had to remind myself of that a lot. I've always just been like, I'm gonna push through, it's gonna be fine. I have it's the I have too much going on that I need to get done that I don't have time to be sick right now. And I have realized the older I get, the further that delays me feeling like shit. So if I just spend one good day actually like hydrating and fucking sleeping, I can usually knock out whatever it is pretty quickly. If I just remind myself that that's the case. I really don't.
SPEAKER_01Knock on what? I don't get sick that often. Yeah. Um, well, as somebody with a chronic illness who is impacted every month, now less so than in previous years. But like learning to kind of come to terms with you, may not be capable of what other people are capable of. Like you're you're pushing through and you don't really need to be. Like you need to rest, you can barely keep your eyes open, you're in pain. What are you trying to prove? Yeah. Not nothing. Just go be a piece of garbage on the couch and you're gonna feel better tomorrow. And it's like letting go of that guilt because that guilt almost makes that resting even harder.
SPEAKER_03Well, how many times have we talked about I bitch all the time that I'm too busy and I have no time to relax? And the second I have a rot day, I'm like, I should be doing something. There's 40 things on my task list that I could be doing right now that I'm avoiding because I'm sitting on the couch, but I really don't get to do that that often. And there's no reason for me to feel bad about it. I just had to tell boat guy the same thing. I'm really, I'm really good at giving the advice. I'm not good at taking it. But yeah, he was like, I really just like spent the day on Instagram and like didn't do anything. And I was like, Yeah, but when was the last time you got to do that? He was like, I don't really remember. And I was like, and don't feel bad. It's probably because you fucking needed it.
SPEAKER_01And even if it was two days ago, what does it matter? Yeah. Like if you're still getting the things that you need to do done, it's okay to rest.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, it was your day off. The sky's not falling. Like nothing, nothing detrimental happened. It's fine. Yeah, other than us making ourselves I think.
SPEAKER_01I think our culture equates productivity to morality. And like if you're a good person, you're productive. And if you are somebody who likes their leisure time, you're lazy and you know or entitled. Entitled.
SPEAKER_03Well, it's like I in my in my brain, that's like associated with someone who Which is terrible. I feel bad for even thinking that way, but like someone who has all of this leisure time, it they must be doing well enough to be able to have that leisure time. And I'm sitting here thinking, well, like I'm not doing that well then. Like I don't have that kind of money to be able to just relax all the time.
SPEAKER_01Does that make sense? Well, but the other thing is for some people, it's a matter of how they schedule their time.
SPEAKER_03True. Because I'm sure to some people, it looks like I am that person. I'm just never sleeping and I'm busy all the time.
SPEAKER_01Well, and but that's a choice. Like you're choosing to spend your free time going out and doing things versus rotting on the couch. Yeah, which obviously rotting on the couch for days and days and days on end is not good, but resting is good. Having good sleep is good. But we equate being busy as being admirable, but if you and if you're exhausted, you're successful. But like if you rest, then you're lazy. And PTO is an inconvenience.
SPEAKER_03Yes, there's someone at my work right now who is um not necessarily being forced to take time off where there you have a max level of PTO uh that you can get to before you start losing it. And like this person is losing their PTO at the end of June if they don't start using it because they've hit that ceiling. And it's like, I will never I was never, I will never be that person. I do not care about anything enough that I'm going to give up my personal time that often. I don't get that.
SPEAKER_01I've never understood that. I've known people like that, and I could maybe understand it if like this was your business and you felt like you couldn't take time off.
SPEAKER_03But the fact that you're like now, I had a conversation with another coworker about it who is the sole provider in their family. Their partner stays at home, takes care of their kids, and they have a lot of time saved up. And they're like, Well, I have this time saved up, but if anything happened to me, I'd be fucked. So I need that time to be able to like for sick time? Yeah, for like sick time or like um FMLA, or just like if any family emergency happened, they were like, I need this time because there is not another provider in our household. I am the sole provider. So I like I save a lot of time for that instance. And I was like, okay, okay, that I can understand. But like maxing out on your vacation time, which I think the max is like 500 hours. Something insane. So how no? I'm I'm just always the person that's having enough time.
SPEAKER_01I don't know that I have enough. Yeah, that's me. Like, oh well, guess I'll take that one unpaid.
SPEAKER_03So and I don't necessarily get that option.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. The other thing is like the blurred lines between work and personal and leisure time, whether it be weekend or a vacation where you're constantly accessible. And I saw an article the other day where people were talking about carrying two phones, and they're like, I have my work phone and I have my personal phone, which I think makes a lot of sense in that I kind of don't want my work stuff on my phone.
SPEAKER_03I don't want to be doing anything work related on my personal phone. But it when I tell you that having two phones is the bane of my existence, I don't even want one phone. And having to pay attention to two, I I realize that it sounds minor. It's so fucking annoying. Sorry. And I am accessible all the time, and I have to be. Where I draw the line is I do not have access to my email on my phone. I will not check my email from my phone because the second from your work phone? Yep. I don't. It's not on there because the second I see a notification, I'm gonna it's gonna fester and I'm gonna be like, maybe it's important. It's not important on a Saturday, but I can't stop myself from looking at it.
SPEAKER_01So it's not on there. I remember I worked at Macy's for a long time and they would always call on your day off and they'd be like, Can you come in? And it's like, and there were no incentives working there other than you got some more hours, but like I got to the point where I just stopped answering the phone. Like, I'm not, I'm not gonna answer, I'm not coming in, I have plans, like I'm scheduled. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And I and I get that that's a little bit of a gray area in my job, but I am allowed to be unreachable. Like that's why we have an on-call rotation.
SPEAKER_01So the other question that I have, and it's kind of a uh, what are those questions? Retor like a rhetorical question of like, why do we get so many breaks during school? But we don't get breaks as adults. Like you have summer break, you have winter break, you have spring break, you have holidays off, and now Suddenly you get into the workforce. I remember the year that I graduated college and I was like, oh my god. Shit.
SPEAKER_03Why do because GDP? Yeah. I've historically worked jobs where that doesn't fucking matter. The operation is 24-7.
SPEAKER_01We have like, why don't offices ever close for like a week? I mean, I know some there are some offices that do um close for like Christmas. They'll close between Christmas and New Year. I remember my dad worked for a guy, and he's like, the the guy that owned the company was like, I'm going to pay everyone to just stay home because everyone shows up to work hungover, they do a shitty job, and then I end up paying them to do it again. So I would rather them just take the break. And it's like, okay, well, why don't we do why don't we do more of that business owners out there?
SPEAKER_03I don't know, because our culture is centered around money, and that's like what matters at the end of the day, not our health.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we're a corporate welfare country, not a citizen welfare country. So I was gonna say that could be a bigger topic. Speaking of speaking of what other countries do, um you Do you have some examples for me? I sure do. You betcha. Oh, you betcha.
SPEAKER_03What does Canada do? Actually, that's like Minnesota.
SPEAKER_01Um, I don't know that I have Canada. Um, but that I do know that the US is very unusual because we are one of the we are the wealthiest country in the world, but we have no federal requirement for paid vacation time. And many countries in Europe, so like the UK has 20 paid vacation days, Germany, they have a minimum of 20, France is 25. And then the Nordic countries are big into people having extended leave and family time and um and maternity leave and paternity leave and all of these other things. They, as a society and a culture, have decided that we are going to put the welfare of our citizens above corporate profits. And look, everyone's happy.
SPEAKER_03It's literally repeatedly the happy, like the happiest countries year after year.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And it's like, how can you be happy? There's it's so cold there. And it's like, oh, because there's a social safety net. And then and the other, I I want to say that like number five, four, five is actually Costa Rica. Wow. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03They have their health care and there's a safety net, and there's nothing to worry about, and they're not freaking out. I yeah, I hate that we have to oh man, this could go into a much longer, more detailed problem. Oh yeah, we could be here. We could be here all night. We could be here all night. Uh, I hate that, you know, we have to think like, is this problem important enough to go to the doctor based on how much it's gonna cost me? Mm-hmm. Instead of just being like, I should go to the doctor.
SPEAKER_01And then your, you know, your company's like, well, if you're gonna be out for three or more days, you have to have a doctor's note. And it's like, I'm sorry, I'm I'm sick, I want to rest. I don't want to go to the doctor because that's really freaking expensive.
SPEAKER_03I have to pay basically to use my sick time, is what you're telling me? Okay.
SPEAKER_01But that happened to me. They were like, well, technically you need a note. And I was like, I'll be back tomorrow, but like that, I'm not going to the doctor. Like, I'm just not, I'm sick. I'm not, yeah. What do you mean fire me, I guess? I well, and what is the doctor gonna do?
SPEAKER_03Like, charge you a copay to tell you to fuck off and take ibuprofen. The amount of times I have gone to the doctor and they've just been like, got a sore throat, sucks to suck, take ibuprofen, drink water, and get lots of sleep. It's like, dude, I could have told myself that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like, I don't know why, I don't know why I came here, but yeah. I I think there's a lot of nuance as well to this conversation in that there's people who work shift work. If you take PTO or you take time off, it it impacts other people. Um, there's gig workers who like if you don't work, you don't get paid.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah, I I know a couple of people that do that. And yeah, their schedule is all over the place, they're traveling all the time. They do get random periods of time off, which is cool, but they're not getting paid for it. So they just have to like be strategic about how they're saving. And it's like, man, I think that would be cool, but like I don't work that way. I have to know where my next paycheck is coming from. Right. I I'm not comfortable in that in the unknown. Well, and who has that much money saved up that they're like, it doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_01I'm just less than you think. Yeah. Yeah. So I I guess I just kind of wanted this conversation to be a reminder that um it's okay to rest, it's okay to take breaks, and it's okay to say, I'm gonna pause and I'm gonna come back and you know, regroup and we'll be back. I think that's a great reminder. Yeah. We like reminders. I would like to hear from other people what their take on this is. Um, you know, how do you deal with the guilt of taking PTO or taking sick time or you know, the grind of like, oh my god, like I'm not ever gonna get a get a break, or like we didn't even cover we didn't even talk about people like quitting their jobs and like taking a break.
SPEAKER_03I'm someone who does love my job, but not enough to give up my personal life. Like I love my job and I do show up because I like it. Like there are things that I don't like, but I think that's everyone. But like I still value my work life balance. And maybe that's something that makes me love my job. I don't know. But at the end of the day, I'm more important. Like what's going on with me is more important.
SPEAKER_01Yes, you are that's right. Yes, you are. I just thought of a question. You know how TSA has had all of these um funding cuts and they've had to come to work for a month and not get paid. Um would you continue to show up to work?
SPEAKER_03Yeah, this current job, if I knew that like the potential of things being resolved was there, I would. But for a certain amount of time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I like I I want to say, like, fuck no, I wouldn't show up. And then there's the part of me that's like, well, you kind of have like a camaraderie with your coworkers and you know, a sense of like duty and purpose, and I don't know.
SPEAKER_03But 90% of my previous jobs, that's a big fuck no. Like it there are a handful that I would have probably still shown up for for the the mentioned reasons, but most of them, no. Walmart can wait. That was my job in college. Like, no, they weren't paying me barely anything anyway, so yeah, every dollar counts. Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_01All right. Well, I mean, that's all I've got for you. I just wanted to have a little conversation about that just remind ourselves that taking breaks is good. I love that.
SPEAKER_03And uh we're not gonna be disappearing. Instagram will still be there. Um, you can still reach out to us via the text feature on Spotify or Apple or message us on Instagram. We're still here, we're just gonna be living our lives for a little bit. Right. We're taking a break. That's right.
SPEAKER_01So is this a good reminder? It is. It's a good reminder, yeah. That mildly thriving is thriving enough. We love you so much. Thank you so much for listening. And hopefully, you've listened to all 40 plus episodes that we've already put out. You can also re-listen to them if you miss us. Um, but we will be back in the fall with more goodness.
SPEAKER_00Yes. We look forward to speaking with you all then. Okay. Alright, we'll see you later. Bye. Bye.
unknownUm,