SPEAKER_02 0:00

Wow. Hi Meredith. Hi, Kimberly. How are you? I am Dandy. How are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:09

You know that like post-trip like haze of I was on a red eye and you just kind of feel fucked up.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

That's how I feel right now.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Okay. Well, that explain that that explains the face you made when I asked how you were, because your face looked alarmed and I was like, God, is everything okay? You did tell me that you were gonna get up at 4 a.m. to listen to the last episode. So I was like, oh. I wasn't getting up just to get up. I was getting up because that's what time I've been getting up. Um, because Costa Rica was in central time and we would get up in the morning by at least six. Like if we didn't get up by 6 30, then we couldn't go for a walk in the morning and like your girl needs because it's so hot. Yeah, your girl needs to be walked. And so like the best time of day to do it is at like, you know, it's actually earlier than that is better. Um, but wouldn't want that upper lip to start sweating, you know. Man, I liter I I need to find I'm I have Googled it. I am buying antiperspirant because people I can tell people are looking at my upper lip sweat and they're like, you're not sweating from anywhere else. No thing for me, at the time. I'm sorry, I was just kidding. That's just what I think of now. It's like how I can tell that you've been walking or doing something physical. I it just I notice it now. Why can't I just sweat from my armpits like normal people? That's a great question. I sweat for my eyebrows, so I don't know. I'm literally dripping from my upper lip. You are not my eye, no, no, no, no, no. Yes. I not right now. Oh, that sounds like it looks freezing. I'm so cold. You're glowing. But like I'll be sweating from my upper lip and I'll touch my armpit and it's dry. I don't use antiperspirant, I use like organic probiotic. I would love to. I have used about a thousand different types of natural deodorant because I try to be conscious of the body products that I use. And I stink with everything. So the one thing that I make an exception on is buying the chemical-filled deodorant because it's the only thing that makes me not stink.

SPEAKER_02 2:39

Thank thank the Lord.

SPEAKER_00 2:43

I'm gonna get cancer somehow, so I guess it's gonna be from deodorant. Yeah, it's just a matter of if and when. Yeah. Or it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Um cool.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Well, on that note, I have a thing that I wanted to talk to you about. Oh, okay. That sounds ominous? Yeah. No, anatomy.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

Are you moving?

unknown 3:10

No.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Is somebody dying?

unknown 3:12

No.

SPEAKER_00 3:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Oh my god. Um, did are your nails short?

SPEAKER_00 3:20

Yeah, and I'm missing paint. I like I'm trying to get my natural nail back temporarily. Um well, I hadn't had a break from them in over a year, and I wanted to save money. So I was like, this is a good way to cut out a significant monthly expense. And so I like got them taken off, and then I just did like regular gel polish, which actually has lasted. I didn't mean to say it like that. Jail. Going straight to jail. I love my jail polish. I love my jail polish. The Texan comes out when I'm not expecting it. Yeah, it's weird. Uh so I had them do the gel polish, and it's actually lasted a good amount of time, but I just peeled some of them off and put some like strengthening stuff on there, and I now look like this. And I was quickly reminded why I have fake nails because I have a like an anxious tick. Like I can't I can't sit still, yeah. But I picket the the skin. Shut the fuck up. I picket the skin on my lips and the um skin on my cuticles, and within a week I have like this red spot in my lip because I'm just like peeling the dry skin off my lips. I know that's gross, but it's like a I can't stand the feeling. So why does having your nails mean that you don't? Physically grab it. That's actually kind of funny. So I have to use chapstick instead of just peeling it. So I've had really nice, healthy lips for the last year, and all it took was a little bit of little bit of real nails. Why did you ask? Because you saw my hands when I you dropped off the No, I saw I saw your hands uh when we were getting ready to record, and I was like, oh my god, Meredith doesn't have nails. What's going on? Who is she No, I'm just trying to be conscious of money spending. Did that have anything to do with the ominous thing that you needed to tell me? No, I'm what I'm gonna tell you is our is our episode. Oh, okay. Well then I have something else to tell you. What do you have to tell me? I got a facial yesterday, and I know what you're gonna say. From from a guy or from an aesthetician? An esthetician. Just wanted to clarify. What I thought you were gonna say was, Meredith, you just told me you're trying to save money by not getting your nails done. Why are you getting a facial? But uh I'm using this thing, this like um memory.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

Is your MLM pitch?

SPEAKER_00 5:57

No, I was like MLM multi-level marketing. Got it. MLM. It's like is it somebody's initials? I mean, it probably is. No, I have this thing called Class Pass that I've been using for free because a friend recommended it to me and I got a bunch of like credits to use as like a trial period. It's like a workout membership where you can go to a bunch of different places instead of having a membership at one place. You can just like buy credits and every class is a certain amount of credits. And so I renewed the membership after my free trial because it's cheaper than any gym membership, and I still get to do my yoga classes every day. But it offers other services. So it's like every type of workout class you could think of, you can get like restaurant credits or like massage therapy. You can get like your lashes done, you can get facials. And um, a lot of places will offer a discounted credit amount as like a first-time user. So since I am a first-time user, I only paid like eight credits to get a facial, which translates to like$16. Wow, what a deal. Yeah. So it lasted almost two hours. The point of the story was to tell you that she was fantastic, but she I she put on this peppermint mask, and I could feel it tingling and kind of like stinging a little bit, but my skin's really sensitive and it always has been, and I'm used to it. So I was just like, as long as it doesn't like hurt, hurt. I'm not worried about it. It's peppermint. So she she leaves it on for a little bit and then takes it off. And she goes, Did that hurt you? I was like, No. She was like, Well, like, did you feel some tingling? I was like, Yeah. She was like, Was it painful or maybe a little spicy? I was like, I mean, it's a little spicy, uh, but I'm used to it. I have sensitive skin. I it was peppermint. I just kind of thought that it was fine. Yeah, I feel like peppermint would be tingly. Yeah. But she was like, Well, your face is really red. And I was like, Oh, okay. I wasn't worried. I knew it would go away. Oh, I just have sensitive skin. And so she put something on it and it comes down. She's like, Okay, it looks back to normal. Um, but I I think you have rosacea. And I was like, No, I know what rosacea looks like. That's no. And she's like, I would see a dermatologist, I'm pretty sure. She's like, obviously, I'm not a dermatologist, but I've been doing this for a while. Like, I think you have rosacea. And so I was like, I'm like thinking back to what I've seen of rosacea, and I'm picturing like an old lady with like the popped blood vessel-looking things all over your face. And I was like, I don't look like that. Um, I have like every single symptom of rosacea. And I was like, oh, it's like I have it right here. Do I do anything about it?

SPEAKER_01 8:59

No.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

I I just thought I had sensitive skin. It was part of the reason I saw the dermatologist recently. I just didn't know the right question to ask. So I made another stupid dermatologist appointment, which I can't get in until May. It's a good thing I don't really care that much. Yeah. Uh, but it was basically like, do you have hot flashes when you drink alcohol, eat spicy food, or or in heated weather? And I was like, yes. I was like, do you get random hot flashes? Also, yes. When I'm stressed or when I'm working out, my face gets really red. And then it was like, Oh, do you have random bumps on your skin that look like pimples but they don't pop? I was like, Yes, that just started over like the last year. It's like, yeah, that sounds like Crossation. Damn it. This is a conversation with ChatGPT. Yeah. Yeah. I knew it. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Well, it's fine. I whatever. I gotta stop asking ChatGPT because it it like knows everything about you. Well, that. And it's just like having a conversation and giving you answers that you really didn't ask for. It's like, yeah, um, this does sound like Rosetia. Sorry to break it to you. Um, also, if you but if you do something about it now, it won't get worse to where you do look like you have those popped blood vessels. I was like, what? They can um zap those blood vessels. I'm not that worried. Uh but anyways, that happened to me. So I mean, I guess now there's an explanation as to why I get random hop flashes. So cool, whatever. Love that for you. Okay, I'm done talking about me and my stupidness. So what are we talking about today? So, today I wanted to chat with you about this theory that I have. And my theory is that we females should be referring our friends to males that we liked, but maybe they just weren't our person, right?

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Okay. Okay. A lot of years ago.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

A friend of mine told me about this guy that had essentially kind of gotten passed around their friend group. Like he was a good lover, but he wasn't somebody that they that anyone wanted to date.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:36

I don't I don't know why. I I can't remember the specifics. Um, they literally had a nickname and acronym for him. He had gotten passed around a bit. And my initial reaction was, oh, that's that's weird. Like that is also my initial reaction, but I'm waiting to hear you out. Right. Um, and I thought, well, that and it kind of goes against everything that we've ever been told about like girl code or relationships, like you can't date someone that somebody else dated. And granted, this this was a these this was a very casual relationship. Like nobody was in a serious relationship with this guy, but he had a reputation for being good in bed. And so somebody was like, hey, you should go out with him.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

And then it he just kind of kept getting passed passed along.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

And so I keep like this is a thing that I think about a lot. Like, you know how some people have like the Roman Empire? Mm-hmm. This is your Roman Empire. This is my Roman Empire. Okay. Is that like if we were really like good to our friends, um, maybe we would refer out men.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Goods and services. Yeah. Goods and services, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Okay. I'm willing, I'm willing to hear you out. Yeah, no, I know you are. You started a podcast with me. So uh that sounded like a statement, not like a it sounded more like, yeah, you are because I said you are. Yeah, um, you literally started a podcast with me, so I think you are gonna hear me out. Yes, I signed, I signed up for this. I I paid money for this. Anyway, back to where we were. So, like you, my initial reaction is okay, that's that was weird. Because we've it's kind of been ingrained in us that we're not supposed to like date someone that somebody else has dated, we're not not supposed to like them, even though whatever. But I do I do think that there is some potential here. Like, wouldn't the world be a better place if you were like, hey, I hooked up with this guy and he was great. He's great at this, this, and this. You should give it a try.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

Yeah. Right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

So um, I I did try this at one point, um, and I was mildly successful. I went out on a few dates with this guy. He was nice, but he just was like mild in his personality. It was fun for a little while, and then you realize, oh, I'm carrying this whole conversation, and you actually don't have a personality. Looks will only get you so far. Right. He was cute, and it you get the cute guy blinders on, and you're like, oh, okay. But he was a really good kisser. And like we had a a bit of fun. So I had a friend who was really into this sports team. And it turned out that the guy was also really into the same sports team. And so I was like, oh, I'm gonna refer him to her so that maybe they'll be like friends, and I won't have to watch sports ball with her anymore because I don't care. Goes forward. So yeah. And then they will have somebody to watch their sports thing with. And if they want to hook up, I told her he's a good kisser. Cause she also likes making out. She's like, oh, I love a good makeout session. And I'm like, cool. Here's a great option for you. Matchmate in heaven. Right. Um, and it wasn't just because I didn't want to watch sports anymore. But that that definitely played into my decision. But you also didn't want to see this person anymore. But you're just like, well, why not like this person's not having luck in that department? Why not refer her to someone that I know that she might like and have things in common with? Right. And I knew that it was not going to be her person because I knew that he was kind of a had the personality of, I don't know, a rock. A doorknob. But he was cute and, you know, he could be funny at times, and he was a good kisser. And so it's like, okay. And she thought it was weird, but she really wanted to watch sports with somebody because nobody else in this area likes her team. And so she she went along with it. They made out, and then um, I think shortly thereafter she met and started dating her now significant other. Yeah. And so um it didn't, it didn't last very long. There was not really the idea that it would last. Like I didn't, I didn't set them up with the intention of like, oh my gosh, this is going to be your forever person. The intention was you want to watch this sports ball. He's decent enough company, he's a good kisser. You can have this experience, right? Yes. And so it's like, why don't we why don't we do that more? I already have a few answers. I'm trying to trying to keep him in the Rolodex here, but and not like not to like not to shit on the topic. I just am already thinking of reasons why I know it couldn't work for certain people and why like it couldn't have worked for me in certain situations or whatever. So tell me. Tell tell me what you're gonna say. Well, now that you've shit on my idea, I'm not shitting on your idea. I agree with you. No, okay. But I So it's I I do think that there are times where this where this can work of like this is meant to be casual, not a it depends on what you're looking for. Right. And it's like I I knew that her goal was to find her forever person. I knew that this probably wouldn't be her forever person, but I figured, why not make out in the meantime and watch your sports ball? Yeah. But here's a few reasons why I think this could be a thing.

unknown 18:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

Within a friend group. Because they're number one, the guys are pre-vetted. Yeah, you already know he's not a creeper and you don't think he's gonna murder someone. There's how many times have have women gone out with men and they're like, oh, turns out he's a total, like, total jerk and he like lied on his profile, or oh, or he's married? X, Y, or Z, like whatever your preferences for someone, but like something that conflicts with your morals or values, and they didn't say that on their profile. Yes. And I mean, how many people out there have just the basics on their profile? And then you talk to them in person and you're like, oh man, this is not what I thought I was signing up for. Fine. Uh but also I just get like weird vibes about people. Like I've canceled dates last minute because I just get weirded out by like the way that they're talking to me, or I've had really good vibes with people and then still been scared to like bring them back to my place because I don't want somebody to know where I live without knowing them for more than one date. So like, yeah, to solidify your answer, yes, it would like prevent a lot of steps.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Heterosexual females proof that sexuality is not a choice.

unknown 19:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Yeah. That I I I've said it before, but there's like that that joke of like, dudes, what's the worst thing that you have to worry about on a date? It's like a stand-up show. Getting rejected, getting getting catfished. It's like, oh my god, she doesn't look like her picture. Girls, what's the worst thing you have to worry about? Getting fucking murdered.

SPEAKER_01 19:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

Yeah. So, anyways.

unknown 20:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Cool. Well, on that note, sorry, continue. You had you had more reasons why you think this could be. Yeah. Yeah. The other thing is that you kind of know their strengths and weaknesses. Like in my case, I knew he was a good kisser, but you know, don't bother with anything else. Dumber than a box of rocks. It's fine.

unknown 20:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:22

I didn't say that, Mary.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

I did. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

I never talked to this person, so I don't know. Um I can read between the lines. Yeah. Yeah. So if your intention is to just like be flirty and have a fun makeout session, then yeah, sounds like the way to go. Great. Which some people like that's some people are looking for that. That's why there's a only looking for something casual on the dating app option. Like, yes. That's clearly fine. Exactly. I don't think that's what that means is looking for a makeout session. Um, this is a perfect example of different people have different definitions of certain things. Somebody could just want a casual makeout session. Somebody could want casual anal. You don't know. And long-term relationship for some people might mean having two families.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

So, you know, really committed to both of families. Um, the other families know about one another. I mean, it depends. Okay. Sometimes not. I know. Isn't that crazy to think? I can't. That there are people who are like, you know what? I want to do, I want to have another family. I can't even keep my life straight. How am I gonna keep two lives straight? That's insane. I I can barely take care of a dog. I can barely drink water. Why would you want that? Oh, yeah, exactly. I have no idea. No idea. I it has taken me 30 Six years to manage my own fucking feelings enough to be able to communicate them in a healthy way with another adult that I am intimately involved with. I don't it's hard. That if you have two secret families, I don't think that you're really putting a lot of effort into communicating and talking about feelings with people. I mean, I don't know. That's just that's just a thought. No, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:27

Maybe you're pretty good at compartmentalizing uh and being okay with the fact that but also who the fuck can afford that?

SPEAKER_02 22:39

I don't know. Weird good for them. Good for them. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Teach me teach me how you stay so organized. I don't want to know any of the shitty, like the the shisty parts, but just like tell me your organizational skills. Actually, that's a that's a really good like how are you so good at compartmentalizing your lives and not getting shit mixed up and forget that I have a meeting when I got reminded five minutes ago that I have a meeting. How are you keeping two families straight and they don't know about sorry, we've really gone down a rabbit hole. Um We really have. But what I have watched some documentaries about this. Okay, I'm sure they exist. I'm sure that they do. I have not been watching True Crime. Me neither. I I just got an ad for one, I think it's called With Friends Like These. It's coming out on Hulu and I want to watch it. It's I'm pretty sure it's the story I'm thinking of about like these three young like middle school girls and the two like gang up and kill the other one, and yeah. I listened.

SPEAKER_01 23:59

I listened to a podcast about that, and I that was fucking weird.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

I just it's just so sad. Like I mean, it's always sad, but the capability of two like 13-year-old girls to just be okay with I don't know, I think that's what made it so crazy. Like I can I guess I c the profile of a killer stereotypically is an adult white man. It was odd to see two like 13-year-old girls with zero regard for someone else's life, I guess. Yeah. You're looking at me like you think I'm crazy, which is why I'm over-explaining.

SPEAKER_01 24:48

No, I'm sorry, I was not my face and my brain may not have matched.

SPEAKER_00 24:53

Yeah, this was your look.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

It's just my face.

SPEAKER_00 24:58

Okay. Well, now I know. I'm just like panic over explaining. I'm like, no, you're not getting it. No, I do. I'm I'm very I'm very familiar. I just thought it was interesting that. You get five people underneath you, they start smelling.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

Wait. Is this multi-level murder? Multi-level mur.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Murder. Judas, no. Yes, that is a vine reference. Man, we are really not staying on top of it today.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

I told you I'm on a s on a struggle bus. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

This this bus that my back hurts, so I'm struggling.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

Are you carrying the bus? What's happening? I don't know. I think you just combined two metaphors. I can't sit still. Um I want to go back to what we were saying. Um, I'm I'm pretty sure how we got there was talking about uh put the fucking thing down. I can't. I can't. I need to hold something. I need to be touching. I'm gonna pick at my lip. Something okay. I brought you here today to tell you about my diet Dr.

SPEAKER_02 26:22

Pepper with lime. It's delicious.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

That's how you're gonna do it.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

No. Limeade?

SPEAKER_00 26:34

Yes, like.

SPEAKER_02 26:35

Why would you put lime in Dr.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

Pepper? Don't knock it before you try it. If you've never had a limeade, we need to fix that, because that's my favorite drink of all time. It's like the only reason I ever go to Sonic anymore, and I'm sad that Sonics are barely in existence. Sonic makes a cherry limeade. Although mine's better.

SPEAKER_02 26:54

I don't like cherry.

SPEAKER_00 26:56

God, you really are just no fun, aren't you? Well, when you refer me to one of your friends, you can let them know that I'm really boring. I have this great friend. She sucks most of the time, but she sucks when it counts.

SPEAKER_02 27:18

Isn't that why we're referring people anyway? Hey.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

You're good. You're good. That was funny.

unknown 27:31

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

I laughed. That was like a real laugh, not a fake laugh. I know I can tell by the look on your face. I've I've spent enough time with you to know when you're like trying to figure out what it is that I said or when you're genuinely interested. And it's fine. That's true friendship. This is why I want Botox. I want to Botox my whole face, and then no one will know what I'm thinking. I think you already do a really good job uh if you put your mind to it of not letting people know what you're thinking. I think you're good at being deadpan, which is terrifying to me.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

Thanks. So anyway, what were we talking about?

SPEAKER_00 28:18

The vetting process of the dudes. So, like, one of the benefits is we've already vetted not only the fact that they're not potentially going to murder you, but that they may be good in some departments of a relationship and not good in others. They might be dumb, but they might be good at making out, which is what the example we were using. You're referring them to be a lover, not a like boyfriend. You're not like setting someone up with like, oh my god, this is your person. Could that happen? I'm sure, but like that's not the goal. Yes. I just uh no, I'm gonna come to my reasons why it won't work when we're done talking about reasons why it will. Okay. So the other reason that I said was you're building community. Not every person that you date has to be the one. You can turn these connections into friendships or um date casually. And my last reason is I think it's better girl code, and I think it helps build more, like a more transparent friendship culture, and you have more of an abundance mindset of like, look, like let's all squeeze what we can out of this one good kisser. Nice. And then also remembering that your friends aren't your competition that applies. Yes. That's I'm going out on a date with this person and like, oh, hey, actually, you have this thing in common with them. I'm gonna send you off there. So I think historically that has been the case. It's like, well, now that you've like it, it takes someone's appeal away if they've dated someone that you're good friends with. Like historically, it socially eliminates someone from your possibilities because they've dated your friends. And uh living in a small town where the dating pool is non-existent. Uh I've been there and I can think back to people that I've dated that I'd be like, yeah, like this is a they're a good person and like I'm cool with them now. And I have, you know, just because we may have slept together doesn't mean like you don't need to make it weird. Like we're all cool, just yeah, they're a good person. I think in those circumstances that could work if the other person is receptive to that. Not everybody is. That was one of my criticisms. I think some people totally are just they're not comfortable with that. They're not comfortable thinking about the fact that if let's pretend that you are trying to set me up with someone and I'm just not comfortable with the fact that well now this person that I date, like if it's successful, I have to think about the fact that they've slept with you. And like you should love that. I you should love that. I have no idea. They got to see my boobs and you didn't. That's why you're mad. How does every single yes, a thousand percent? Uh I'm just using me as a as an example. I think there are plenty of people out there who would not be comfortable continuing to hang out with a friend who they know has slept with their significant other. Like, tell I mean, that is the plot line for how many movies, TV shows, like this is just not normally culturally acceptable. And yeah, uh, I think we're moving away from that. And I think we live in a pretty progressive state when it comes to stuff like that. So I think we're already a few steps ahead. But yes, uh, as long as you know everyone is on board, nobody's uncomfortable about it, yeah. I think I think you're right. Another reason why I think it won't work. I have dated guys and tried to be polite and tell them, like, thanks, but no thanks. I think you're really nice, but you're not my person. And I don't see this going any further. And there are they are nice, and I would have considered this as an option, but the second they're rejected, you're a fucking bitch, and they hate you, and go fuck yourself. I never want to talk to you again. So the person that you're referring also has to be willing to like be referred.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

Well, and almost and that's almost part of the vetting process is like, how did they, you know, handle that? Like, I don't want to be friends with somebody who acts like that. Like, wait, no, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

So yeah, so if you're in the position to refer them, obviously that they've gotten past whatever that situation is. But yes, I have had people that I've dated and slept with and just been like, hey, you are nice. That it was fine, but like I just see someone else being a better fit and they're like, oh, well, I hope you die. It's like, oh, okay, cool. Glad that worked out well. Those are not the people that we would be referring, though. No, no. Um, and yes, the I guess the final thing was just like I know plenty of people that aren't looking for that. Like they're they're looking for somebody to be in a monogamous long-term relationship with, and that's that is their goal. But I also know plenty of people who are just like, I'd be down for some good fun, or just like, oh my god, the dating pool sucks so bad. Please, I'll take anything. Please give me someone who sucks when it counts. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

Are we making stickers? Yeah. I suck when it counts. Good for you, Meredith. Thanks for sharing. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 34:14

I think that is.

SPEAKER_02 34:16

I don't really want that out there.

SPEAKER_01 34:17

Oh, that's gonna be out there.

SPEAKER_02 34:19

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:21

I'm I'm making that into a clip that was hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 34:26

No.

SPEAKER_00 34:27

No.

unknown 34:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

My point was not to shit on your idea. I think that I think that you're right in in certain circumstances. And I I do think we're moving more away from the idea that that is not okay. And yeah. Yeah. I think that it is becoming more socially acceptable to do this kind of thing. I don't see it becoming like the latest trend, but I think there's I think there's potential there. I I also think secure like I I would like to call myself out. I I think security has a lot to do with it as well, because I think 10 years ago, I would have 1000% been uncomfortable with dating someone that slept with my best friend. Like I that would have been a weird situation for me. Um, and I would have felt insecure about it. But I have come a long way from that person, and I think there is just a level of emotional maturity that comes with growing up and dating and, you know, just life experience. And I don't I don't think I would feel that way now is the point that I'm trying to make. I I wouldn't feel that way now. Well, and I think it all I think it all comes down to the combination of people and like uh yeah, okay. Circumstantially, I don't think I would feel that way now.

SPEAKER_01 35:49

Yeah, I think I think so much of it depends on the nuance of it.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

Because I want to be like, yeah, I would totally be cool with this, and but it's like Ooh, yeah, let me make a clarification. Like the example that you're using is like somebody that you dated hooked up with, and you're like, ah, you're fun, but I don't see you as my long-term person. But just in case you and this other single friend of mine have something in common, you can go have fun with this person. Uh, but let's say like a friend couple is married, and like you're you meet them as a couple, and then they get divorced, and then you start dating their like ex whoever, like I think it might be challenging to continue that friendship if you're now dating that person. I'm trying to uh I think there's there's so much nuance with this of like circumstance. I I think there's so much room for like complicated feelings, but like now if I met someone and was like, oh, or like I made a friend, a new like a new girlfriend, and I was like, oh my gosh, like I think that you would be perfect for like my ex-husband.

SPEAKER_02 37:13

I I don't know, maybe would I be open to that? Maybe Yeah. I in theory. Yes. But I do just want to see people happy. I agree.

SPEAKER_00 37:31

I was thinking, like, I mean I I still communicate occasionally with my ex from high school, and I also communicate with his fiance. Like, she listens to the podcast, by the way. Oh, hi. Um, but they're both great, and I would have referred someone to him. That concept doesn't sound weird to me at all. And we dated for four years, but we were like, we were also very young. It was a long time ago, but like I think he's a great person and just want to see people be happy, and like, you know, we were kids, we wanted different things in life, and we went separate ways. Yeah. Nobody hated each other, like everything was fine. And it's it's kind of nice to see that like we can still get along as adults, and like, you know, for for the record, my current significant other does know this, and like it's not again, everybody's adults, it's not weird. He, but there are also other people that I've dated that I like it wouldn't be as comfortable or as normal. Does that make sense? Okay. That makes total sense. Yeah. I don't know. It was just a thing that has like bounced around in my brain. It's probably not my Roman Empire, but I can't think of what is my Roman Empire, so you know. That's okay. We'll call it your red eye Roman Empire. Everybody's allowed those days. All right. Well, that's all I have for you today. Okay. I don't know that this was my most well thought out topic. I apologize. I am tired and no, no.

SPEAKER_01 39:06

Cold. I'm I'm cold, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

I think it I think situationally it is a relevant thought-out topic. I also think maybe it's important to point out that we we live in a very progressive state and we hang out with multiple types of people and uh multiple types of people that are in multiple types of relationships. And so it does help uh this idea that that's more socially acceptable because we surround ourselves with people who find that socially acceptable. So that like I think they're heathens too. Well, that's fine. No, we hang out with cool people, okay? We're just cool and more mature. God we're really cool. We're not regular people, we're cool people. Yeah. Is there alcohol in this? I don't know. I didn't make it. I I was I was carrying on with the mean girls. Got it. Yeah. Sorry, you lost a God no, honey. Why do you want some? Because I'd rather you do it in the house. Okay. Wow. Sorry, I'm just really enjoying our conversation today, Kimberly. Sorry, Meredith. I'm a wet blanket today. No, you're not. You're just full of facial expressions that really just to me feel like disappointment. It's just my base. Don't worry, that's just Kimberly. She's always gonna look like she's disappointed in you. This topic is a reminder. Hmm. That mildly thriving is thriving in. I just really wanted to fuck it up. Uh let's try again. Kimberly, I do think that you coming up with a topic after a red-eye flight is a reminder that Mildly Thriving is thriving enough. See, now we don't have to think of everything. That's fine. Why have we not been doing this the whole time? I don't know. I don't know. That was really good. That was like you. You're yeah, you are. I think the yoga is like making you like it's I'm gonna do the facial. No, I'm gonna call it. I think it's coming. It's giving me that much-needed dopamine that I don't normally get, so I'm just like on top of the world. Hey, go team. See you on the next episode. Bye. Bye.